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Many years ago, a friend – who happens to be a social worker – helped me deal with a very complicated relationship. For more than a year, she listened and held me with such kindness and care.
Over the years, we’ve kept in touch with one another as our lives have continued to unfold; however, in the past year, whenever I’ve texted to see if she can talk on the phone or even plan a visit, she has said it isn’t a good time.
After repeatedly responding this way, I started to question if, perhaps, she meant more to me than I meant to her.
This is a dangerous road to go down in friendship, but I did begin to wonder if I should confront her about this or stop trying so hard to connect altogether.
Instead of relying on my mind (or worse, ego) to decipher what was happening, I paused and thought with my heart. I remembered that as a social worker, she is animated most when serving others – and is reluctant to receive the help of others. I reflected on the last year in her life, which has been very stressful, and felt myself softening.
I am now letting go of my attachment to how this friendship is supposed to go, and holding our relationship in sacred trust.
And I will keep reaching out to let her know I love her.
– Ruth D. Anderson, Ph.D | Second Breath Chief Content Officer
In this week’s featured practice, we’ll explore the importance of acceptance in friendship.
Sister Joan Chittister wrote, “Acceptance is the universal currency of real friendship. . . . It does not warp or shape or wrench a person to be anything other than what and who they are.”
Listen now and surrender to the quality of acceptance that sits in the middle of our friendships.
You can find the “Meaningful Friendships” Series Spotlight at the bottom of the Second Breath app home screen.