This post is a part of our weekly email called “Presence+Practice”. You can have early access to this weekly content by subscribing to our newsletter.
When my wife and I first started having kids we, like many couples, struggled with the transition. We went from having hours each day to focus on our relationship to mere minutes as the kids took the vast majority of our bandwidth. We wanted some tools to navigate our changing marital landscape so we went to a marriage counselor.
Now, truth be told, I was not excited about therapy. I appreciated the concept of therapy on paper and recommended therapy to countless people, but I was reluctant. I went into our meetings with an arrogance that no therapist would be able to out-diagnose me. When our counselor asked a question, I would deduce her therapeutic trajectory and self diagnose – beating her to “the punch” every time.
In our third session, I was in the middle of another “brilliant” self diagnosis when the therapist interrupted me.
She said, “Greg, you are very good at diagnosing yourself.”
And I thought, “Well you said it, not me.”
But then she continued.
“You’re very good at diagnosing yourself, but I see no change in your life.”
And with those words, the hammer dropped.
I realized that I could write dissertations on my issues. I could diagnose myself like a pro. But information alone would never change me! I had been approaching life through a head-centric lens, believing that intellectual understanding was enough to bring about change.
Since that time, I’ve explored, studied, and wrestled with how we actually experience authentic change from the inside out. We need to engage not only the brilliance of the mind but also the wisdom of the heart and the body: three-centered knowing.
Our featured monthly series on change invites us to engage all three centers and open to the presence of God in ways that transform us from the inside out.
This week’s featured practice is part 2 of our 5-part series titled Making Lasting Change. Through the wisdom of the Christian tradition and modern scientific research, you’re invited to connect your desire for change with your deepest values. Combining your desires with your values is an important step in tilling the soil for deep transformation to emerge from the inside out.
You can find the “Making Lasting Change” Series Spotlight at the bottom of the Second Breath app home screen.